Why I am a Quaker: Kay Smith
In some ways my
becoming a Quaker was a journey down a common path to an uncommon
destination. I was raised a Catholic by a strictly observant mother
who never allowed us to skip a Mass or holy day observance if the
Church said it was required. Perhaps it was largely adolescent
rebellion that led me to throw off such practices as soon as I left
home for college, but there were also substantial differences between
my view of the world and that of the Catholic Church, I felt. After a
period of scoffing at organized religion entirely, however, I came to
feel the need of…something as a young adult.
Like many who find
Quakers, I came to the Birmingham Friends Meeting during a period of
violence and fear in the world. President Reagan was in office and to
my dismay if not, apparently, to that of a large percentage of my
fellow Americans, he displayed an appalling inclination to attack
smaller, weaker countries on the slightest excuse. If nothing else,
my seeking out the local Friends meeting was an attempt to find
others who might commiserate with me on having such bullying behavior
displayed on our behalf, supposedly.
I believe it was Stephen
Guessman who first spoke to me over the telephone about the Quakers
and their worship. I followed his directions to the meeting the
following Sunday morning. I sat in the perfect silence of my first
meeting for worship in the cafeteria of the Montessori school where
it was then held and discovered a peace I’d never experienced in
the Mass. Then, during the 2nd Hour, I met some of the
other Quakers in the small group – I especially remember Connie
LaMonte, Nancy Whitt and Connie Hill. Connie L. gave me some
pamphlets, and I remember looking through them in vain trying to find
out,
“But what do Quakers believe?” It took me many
years to find the answer to that question, which of course was not
what I had expected at all. Through those years that followed, I kept
returning to the Quaker meetings, sometimes not knowing why any more
than I did on my first visit. It took me a while too to find the
courage to speak up to the others in the meeting with my questions
and concerns – many of the members seemed so intimidatingly erudite
and grounded in their faith, unlike me with my mundane cares and
doubts and ignorance. Gradually, however, I came to feel a sense of
belonging in that small community. And after my son, Henry, was born,
I knew I could find no better religion in which to nurture him. So,
after some 13 years as a “regular attender” I became a member of
Birmingham Friends Meeting in 1999.
So, at the end of the
day the answer to the question, “Why am I a Quaker?” is this: I
am a Quaker because of their longstanding traditions of speaking
truth to power, social justice work and because they live their
spiritual experiences of the “inner Light” in as honest and
courageous a manner as human beings can. This strange and beautiful
faith has now become my home.